Learning from experience: A Liberty cross country coach’s perspective
LIBERTY, Mo. — I knew better, I couldn’t help myself. Here I am, never have played a competitive volleyball game in my life but felt authorized to give my daughters advise about their game. My intentions were honorable, and even though it may have conflicted with the volleyball coach, I was entitled to inflict my unwanted input on my daughters. I’m sure my wife told me to “Take-It-Easy,” during the course of their volleyball careers. In spite of the club tournaments and 4 years of collegiate volleyball, I didn’t realize how fast this would end. Reflectively, I wish I would have just taken a “Chill Pill” and enjoyed the experience.
As a coach, I sometimes see parents make the same mistake. I encounter parents who are too intimately involved with their child’s athletic performance to relax. I want to reach out to them and say, “relax, trust the coach and trust the process.” Their child’s competitive running is going to last a short time and to enjoy the ride. Sometimes I become privy to the arguments at home questioning the child’s performance or probing the judgement of the coaches’ decisions that could erode the confidence of the coach – athlete relationship. Many athletes suggest the worst part of youth sports is the drive home from competition.
My first intention is to reach out to parents who are interested in making a student’s involvement uplifting and rewarding for both student and parent. Second, I want to offer my thanks for creating a positive atmosphere that is enjoyable and gratifying for the athlete and the coach.
My definition of success is simply realizing the athlete’s potential. Unfortunately, the common narrative of success is measured comparatively. Comparing athletes often results in unrealistic and deflating performances. To enjoy the sport, I would recommend the following suggestions: 1. Let the desire come from your child, if you must reward, punish, or conjure an inner drive, I suggest your child find another passion. 2. It’s easy to discourage passion by ending each session by what they could have done better. 3. As a parent, leave the coaching to the coach. Allow your role to be one of support. 4. Don’t get in your child’s way, allow them to explore, fail, and figure out things on their own.
Fortunately, most of the parents I work with are fantastic role models of the parent I want to be. I want to acknowledge the many hours parents spend providing opportunities for their children. Thank you for your patience when practices run long. I appreciate how you give up your weekends, evenings and even schedule vacations around practice or sporting events. I recognize the financial burden of camps, fund-raisers and equipment. I think it’s great that you support and believe in your children, whether they take first or last. As a coach, thank you for the encouragement, the trust, the constant support and willingness to volunteer when something needs to get done.
Finally, in the end you want to leave them with a positive experience. Competition is an opportunity for growth and development of lifelong skills. Win or lose, your child is building character through competition. I have been blessed to have visited former athletes 20 years later who now have a family and are a productive member of our community.
This is an unedited user writing submission. The views, information, or opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Best Version Media or its employees.
