Oneonta’s Losak uses the mound as an escape
ONEONTA, N.Y. (BVM) — For SUNY Oneonta senior Michael Losak, the baseball diamond has always been an escape from the real world. Once depression started to interfere with his life on the field, Losak knew it was finally time to address what had long affected him.
“I first realized it when it started affecting baseball because I was kind of just numb to everything else in my life, so I didn’t really see that going on,” Losak said. “I just thought it would blow over, but once it started affecting my performance and the way I played baseball, a bell kind of rung in my head like something’s wrong. I don’t know what the hell it is [but] I need to do something about it.”
The Red Dragons’ pitcher realized he had experienced many symptoms linked to depression, but had initially chalked it up to his changed landscape since attending college.
“When it comes to depression there’s a lot of stigmas that come with it, like there’s a lot of general things that a lot of people go through when they have depression,” Losak said. “They don’t want to get out of bed, they’re irritable, they don’t do the normal things they do. Their moods change. I had all those things. I wouldn’t eat, I wouldn’t sleep. I just wasn’t myself.”
The former three-sport high school athlete recalls his struggles with mental health dating back to before his time in high school. In middle school, Losak was bullied on an almost everyday basis starting with verbal bullying before physical bullying began.
For Losak, the ability to talk about this with someone would be pivotal. He reached out to the counseling center his sophomore year of college, looking for some sort of answer. Losak admits the step was hard for him because he had to acknowledge that something was wrong.
“I went to my first [therapy] appointment and I opened up about everything,” Losak said on The Inspired By Club’s Instagram page. “I felt as if a weight had come off my shoulders and I could finally breathe.”
Therapy and a close support system have helped Losak cope and deal with his mental health on an everyday basis. Getting back to who he was on the baseball field has also been an important task for Losak, who appreciates what the game has given him throughout his life.
“I have a tattoo on my chest for baseball,” Losak said. “Baseball is my outlet, baseball is my channel. [It’s] the way I channel everything and just get everything out. It’s the place where I can just be myself without the care of how others are going to view me and how they are going to see me. And regardless whether or not my teammates like me off the field, they all respect me on the field for what I do.”
When the NCAA announced its mental health initiative, Losak knew he wanted to be a part of it. He has decided to use his platform to share the past experiences he’s faced and he continues to present his story to groups and clubs on different campuses with the goal of working his way into high schools.
“Whenever I give my presentations on it, I always state the fact that not everybody wants to hear it, but everybody needs to hear it,” Losak said. “You have somebody who’s comfortable enough to come out, share it, and that can potentially help a lot of people.
“It can help people that may have something going on but don’t want to get help … like this person went through it, and maybe I can get through it, too. Because, like I talk a lot in my presentations, I never thought I’d make it past my 21st birthday, let alone graduating college this week. The message that I try to get across is that it’s OK to talk about these problems, it’s OK to have them, especially as an athlete.”
The Red Dragons’ closer finished his senior season with a 3.34 ERA and four saves helping lead Oneonta to a SUNYAC Tournament berth. He completed his final collegiate baseball game over the weekend making his second career start in the team’s playoff game against Oswego State.
With graduation in front of him, Losak will continue to share his story and help others as they battle mental health. He will also be pursuing more opportunities on the field with a tryout upcoming for an independent baseball team in New York.
