DENVER (BVM) — For anyone, moving far away from home in middle school to compete at a high level nearly 24/7 would be difficult. An almost impossible, insurmountable hurdle to clear even. Some never encounter such a challenge, but Vasquez experienced it firsthand.

“It was very different,” Vasquez said, reflecting on her time at Chow’s Gymnastics in West Des Moines, Iowa. “Much more was expected of you. … It was very stressful and took quite a bit for me to get used to.”

The elite gymnastics club was a long way away from Vasquez’s hometown of Pasadena, Calif., and it was certainly a lot different at Chow’s than it was doing club gymnastics back home. Chow’s is known for its high-level, intense training, the same training that molded the skills of Olympic gold medalists Shawn Johnson and Gabby Douglas.

In such a competitive environment, Vasquez had one thing on her mind: perfection. Losing the team aspect of the sport was a much different experience for Vasquez than in Pasadena, and it became something that was mentally taxing for the young, aspiring gymnast.

“My introduction to it was, you’re competing and fighting for yourself,” Vasquez said. “You can be friendly to other people, but you are the only one that matters. It’s very self sufficient in that way. … That’s when I realized, I’m not sure I enjoyed it as much.”

Nevertheless, Vasquez powered through, quickly rising up the ranks as one of the top young gymnasts in the United States, competing in national meets and eventually being named to the 2014 U.S. Junior National Team. 

She became an elite beam artist while also excelling in the all-around, on the floor, and on bars, but still struggled with the individuality of her training. While she continued to reach new heights on the mat, her struggles off of it began to intensify.

Vasquez began to suffer from anxiety and depression at a pretty young age while she was in Iowa after being trained to not only perform but to think about gymnastics “in a certain way.” She took that mindset from her youth into college at the University of Denver, and her mental health deteriorated.

“All of it pretty much stemmed from moving to Iowa and doing elite gymnastics there. Those four years of my life really changed me,” Vasquez said. “In that time, I was taught that you’re working towards perfection and anything less and you’re basically nothing. You can basically give up if you’re not the best. With that mindset coming into college, I was like, ‘I need to be perfect’ not just in the gym, but academically. That caused a lot of stress.”

Add all of that onto the plate of someone who is coming from a life of gymnastics almost 24/7, all the way to a university where a lot is expected of you outside of the gym, and the result is a tax on mental health. Arriving at Denver was a “culture shock,” as Vasquez described it. 

Not only the responsibility, but the pressure of both school and gymnastics was amplified at one of the top gymnastics schools in not only the Big 12, but the entire country.

“Mentally, I was really killing myself. I would be in the training room before practice just studying, the whole time,” Vasquez remembers of her freshman year at DU. “I never put my computer down, and it was really taking a toll on me emotionally, obviously but physically too. There’s only so long you can do that before your body breaks down. I was getting sick, I was in this really anxious, aggressive state.”

It was a lot for Vasquez to overcome, especially while still maintaining her grades and her athletic performance. She began to open up about her mental health — to her mom, to a therapist, and to her teammates.

Slowly but surely, her mindset began to change. What once would have been viewed as a failure because it was not perfect, Vasquez became proud of. A 9.950 instead of a perfect 10 became OK. A ‘B’ on a paper was no longer something to beat herself up about. 

But taking that pressure off of herself didn’t just make it easier on herself personally. She grew closer to her team, and she elevated her performance in the gym as well. In 2020, she scored two perfect 10 scores on the beam and was named All-Big 12. The following year, her final one as a collegiate gymnast, she repeated as All-Big 12 and was also named a WGCA Second Team All-American beam artist. 

“It’s crazy because when I was a freshman in college, back then I was like, ‘I can’t do it, never gonna happen,’” Vasquez said. “I feel great about it. There’s always a part of me that thinks ‘oh, you could’ve done this or that,’ but then I remind myself that I did everything I could. So when I get these awards nowadays, instead of feeling guilty I feel proud of myself. I don’t look at it as ‘they gave me this award,’ I look at it as, ‘I earned this award.’”

Vasquez is now retired from gymnastics, and is now helping others like her with the Sports Health Institute, which helps educate student-athletes on mental health, and helps them after they are done with their sport.

“It was time for me to retire,” Vasquez said. “Having this time this summer to be a normal person and not an athlete… It’s exciting. I don’t have that gymnastics excitement, but I still have this new excitement that will last my whole life.”

A fan?

Follow your favorite teams